I've been goofing on my spam emails as you all know, and my girlfriend up in Vermont, Janis, who apparently has fewer filters than I do, got one so good I just have to post it for your enjoyment. I love the efforts of non-English speakers to sound glib. Their attempts at slogans such as Pepsi's "It's the Real Thing" and so on are hilarious. Long ago a friend came back from Japan telling me that some company was using "For Beautiful Human Life!" as a slogan for some product.
Along that line, I collect instructions from any device that are obviously in funny Engrish. If you have some good ones, please send them to me. My address is on my book review blog Northern Book Review .
Here is the delightful email:
Every human being could use a nice-looking wrist watch, which is why we
retail ours at fees most people can manage.
Not happy? Ship back your timepiece for a refund.
You will want a nice watch, which shows off his impressiveness and
It is the amounts that will make you happiest. You'll be able to attain
what looks like the true thing without thecost of the real thing
Our wristwatches symbolize only the finest quality and durability.
Yes, I want show off impressiveness to symbolize finest quality!