Gimme a great big pencil because I'm all ready to poke the Weather God in the eye. Look buddy, (poke poke), it's APRIL, (stab stab), and the trees are budding, the pussy willows are out, the roads were DRY for God's sake, (jab jab), and you decide to dump a snow storm on us! Bastard! I might as well poke your eyes out, Weather Dude, because it's obvious you can't see anyway! Maybe you'll start to pay attention!
Sure, while others are frolicking around in flowered fields, we are telling ourselves that we are damn glad we didn't take the snow tires off yet. Driving home yesterday was an exercise in zen fearlessness, since snow over wet pavement equals big danger and lots of ice. What were you thinking?
Maybe it's my fault. It's probably my fault. Yes, it's true I did just receive a set of skis sent to me by a friend. I got them just in time for it to be too late to ski. And I also put two snow tires on my old car so that I could drive back from Anchorage through the snow storm that was supposed to be the last snowstorm of the year. Never would have made it back, otherwise. (Remember folks, whenever I go to Anchorage it snows.)
Yes, and to make it even more my fault, I'd gone ahead and chipped all the hard pack and ice off the stairs to my door. I'd decided that there just wasn't enough snow left to go for another snow machine ride. Sure, there was some snow on the trails, but there was too much dirt and gravel in between trails.
But noooOOOOooooo, the Weather God has to lob this out of left field. Even people in Alaska deserve a little consistency, for heaven sakes!
Just to show the Weather God that we have no respect for his little joke, we went for a hike yesterday, so there!
Actually, it might not be my fault at all. It might be that the Weather God was watching as the snow was melting, and was appalled at the amount of pure, ugly junk that was emerging from the snow. At the site of all those junked cars, piles of boards, jumbles of pipes, broken appliances and god knows what all covered with frayed blue tarps, well, I could see why the Weather God might gasp and, as a reflex, cover the whole mess up with snow over again.
Maybe he's grateful I'm poking him in the eye.
