I love living in a small town.
Recently, in North Pole (which is actually south of Fairbanks) a guy got "pulled over" by the police for driving drunk on a riding mower.
Yes, a lawn mower! Specifically, a red Craftsman riding mower. Apparently he'd been partying and I think he must have said to himself, "Gee, I'm too drunk to drive, but I sure want to make a beer run!" His brain cells banged together and he thought what I'm sure we'd all think in those circumstances, why not fire up the riding lawn mower for a quick trip down to the bar for a six-pack? He thought, "It's an hour before they close, I gotta get down there!, I'm not gonna make it if I walk..."
After he'd ridden across several yards the neighbors looked out their windows and saw him mowing crazy, crooked lines in their lawns. Well heck, if someone was mowing my lawn and doing a rotten job, I'd call the cops too! (If I had a lawn!)
Cop cars arrived, sirens blaring and lights a'flashin'. Did he stop? No! He kept his mind on his business, mowing his way to the nearest liquor store, of course.
And then the exciting chase! Drunk Mower Man led the police on a screaming pursuit of approximately 200 feet at a whopping 5 mph! Boy, I wonder if they had to blockade the rosebushes, or put down the nail strips (somewhere in the marigolds). Imagine the chatter on the radio..."10-4 we've got him headed due West toward the petunias..." I can see two or three or even four cop cars. with sirens and flashing lights all flanking the Hot Rod Red Riding Mower.
After the harrowing chase, (which may be televised on The World's Most Dangerous Car Chases, you think?), the police caught him, breathalyzed him and found he had twice the legal limit of alcohol giving him that Evel Knievel buzz.
The perpetrator claimed he didn't hear or notice the police cars. Boy, I call that concentration!
I wonder if he has to finish mowing his neighbors' lawns when he gets out of jail?
Recently, in North Pole (which is actually south of Fairbanks) a guy got "pulled over" by the police for driving drunk on a riding mower.
Yes, a lawn mower! Specifically, a red Craftsman riding mower. Apparently he'd been partying and I think he must have said to himself, "Gee, I'm too drunk to drive, but I sure want to make a beer run!" His brain cells banged together and he thought what I'm sure we'd all think in those circumstances, why not fire up the riding lawn mower for a quick trip down to the bar for a six-pack? He thought, "It's an hour before they close, I gotta get down there!, I'm not gonna make it if I walk..."
After he'd ridden across several yards the neighbors looked out their windows and saw him mowing crazy, crooked lines in their lawns. Well heck, if someone was mowing my lawn and doing a rotten job, I'd call the cops too! (If I had a lawn!)
Cop cars arrived, sirens blaring and lights a'flashin'. Did he stop? No! He kept his mind on his business, mowing his way to the nearest liquor store, of course.
And then the exciting chase! Drunk Mower Man led the police on a screaming pursuit of approximately 200 feet at a whopping 5 mph! Boy, I wonder if they had to blockade the rosebushes, or put down the nail strips (somewhere in the marigolds). Imagine the chatter on the radio..."10-4 we've got him headed due West toward the petunias..." I can see two or three or even four cop cars. with sirens and flashing lights all flanking the Hot Rod Red Riding Mower.
After the harrowing chase, (which may be televised on The World's Most Dangerous Car Chases, you think?), the police caught him, breathalyzed him and found he had twice the legal limit of alcohol giving him that Evel Knievel buzz.
The perpetrator claimed he didn't hear or notice the police cars. Boy, I call that concentration!
I wonder if he has to finish mowing his neighbors' lawns when he gets out of jail?
