I feel glad to have made it this far. For most of my life I kept in mind how old I would be when the century turned to the year 2000 (well into middle-age) and now I've made it ten years past that. It's been a interesting ride so far and I plan on making it interesting as we go. And I mean "interesting" in a good way.
I never have understood people who are bored. There are so many things I want to accomplish and experience before I pass on to the Summerland that I'll never get them all done.Which is fine with me! I may leave unfinished books, stories, screenplays, paintings, collages behind me, but that's a good thing.
Today on my birthday I'm having interesting experiences. I live in a little subdivision out in the woods. Most of us have about two acres. Lately some deranged neighbor has been shooting in the evening and then in the middle of the night. I'm sure alcohol is involved as it seemed like the shots were moving around. The first time it happened was a couple days ago. Both my neighbor and I called the Troopers but nothing came of it. Then last night around midnight this idiot starts up again, so I call 911 this time. They said they were sending a Trooper out, but no one ever showed up as far as I know, and luckily or unluckily the guy with the gun (because you know it's not a gal with a gun) quit after about twenty minutes. I finally gave up on the Troopers, turned off my porch light and went to bed around 2am...couldn't sleep for a while because there some squirrels playing pine-cone hockey up on my metal roof...rollyrollyrolly scramblescramblescramble (repeat)....read for awhile....the squirrels finally decided to sleep.....drifted off around 3....
...only to be awakened at 6:30 am by the most galvanizing sound I know: the Barfing Dog Sound. Booooorrrrk! Booooorkkk! Booooorrrrrkk! and I'm on my feet in a flash, (even when I think I'm gonna pee my pants I'm not on my feet this fast) trying to get Ole down the stairs and off the carpet and we are at the top of the stairs and I have his collar and he's trying to go with me and we almost start down the stairs and then URRRRRRRPPPPPPP.
Too late. Oh well.
But then he starts BOooooRRrrrrking again! And this time we made it to the rubber mats in the kitchen. UuuuurRRRPPPP! Ole sits down. He looks at me apologetically.
I know buddy, you tried!
Rubber gloves ON. Try not to breathe. Paper towels and cleaner, and then a quick visit to the internet to get the thought of dog barf out of my head.
This time I was able to sleep until almost ten, thank goodness! I woke up with a headache...must have caffeine! I'm out of all dairy products, oh nooOOOOooo! So after feeding the parrot and dogs their breakfast and a quick visit to the back yard, we plop into the car and head toward town and Lulu's drive-up. When I asked the young gal if they give out free stuff on one's birthday, she looks at me and says, "Why not?" We happily drive away with a caramel latte and a huge dog biscuit.
I was going to go buy half & half but soon realize, as I had't before, having not been fully awake when I left the house, that it's too hot for the dogs in a parked car. I'll have to drink my coffee and head home.
Everyone once in a while I get behind someone not clear on the process of how one gets up a big hill. Today was one of those days. With a small 4 cylinder it takes a little run at it to really get up to the top. An old guy in a big pickup is chugging along. It's a fairly late model, there's no reason he can't go the speed limit (50) but he apparently wants to go 35 and maybe 40. It's tough on the little old Camry, but it gears down, and we are doing okay when from behind comes a gold luxury something filled with teenaged boys. Great. I'm sandwiched between warty old age and acne-covered impatience.
I'm not a tailgater, and there's plenty of stopping space between me and Mr. Slowly. Not so with the budding hoodlums. They're right on my tail and to my horror, start to pass me on a blind curve. Somehow I manage to go exactly the wrong speed for them to succeed, we finally hit the bottom of the hill, and then we are down on the flats. I can see for miles. It's a two-lane country road. This is it, I'm going to pass the old fart and be done with both of them.
I signal. I gun it, and pull out into the left lane. And the guy in the pickup floors it! What the hell? I'm giving it all it's got, I'm getting worried, Captain, I don't know if she can take any morrrrre...
Okay, so it's a 21-yr-old 4 cylinder Camry with 220,000+ miles on it, against at least a V-6, if not a V-8. I can't drop back because the hoodlums are right behind this asshole. As I pull alongside of him, Mr. Warty Jerkoff raises his crusty finger, grins with what teeth he has left, and FLIPS ME OFF!
I was so shocked I actually pulled ahead and left him in the dust. I was going about 75. I think he even made my car mad!
The hoodlums passed him too, as they started coming up behind me again. I sure hope they gave him at least a mooning.
After I got home it was lots more funny than irritating. My neighbor, who invited me over for a wonderful lunch of sandwiches and fresh blueberries and corn on the cob, cracked up and was suitably impressed.
I'm going to make myself a birthday cake (or pie or brownies) and celebrate my birthday and make some messes in my house by being creative.
The day isn't over yet, who knows what will happen next? It hasn't been boring yet!