Read to the end for an update!
I called the helpline about my Medicaid application.
"You are number 24, your wait time is about 40 minutes."
During this time the dogs ate their breakfast. Then went out. Then in, then out. Then in...
An hour later: "You are number 19, your wait time is less than 40 minutes."
Well, at least I got the dishes done.
There were several more updates that gave me my number in line, and my wait time was always "less than 40 minutes."
The schlocky jazz was a nice touch. But when they interrupted it with just a slight pause I always thought that someone was finally picking up the phone! But no, it was yet another helpful hint about places on the web where you could find information. It was where I'd been for at least an hour before I finally found the phone number to be able to call them and talk to a person. It's amazing how such a closely guarded secret phone number it is! Also amazing how many people were able to find it! After the announcement, there would be more jazz...more slight pauses...more helpful announcements... Meanwhile I was considering going outside and scooping dog poop...
Then finally there was another update that got me excited an hour later: "You are number 5, your wait time is less than 40 minutes."
Twenty minutes later I finally got the guy on the phone.
I was so very, very grateful. I thought, "I waited, I was strong, I didn't give up! I'm going to get my case straightened out! I'll have health care at last!
Me: Hello! I'm so happy to talk to you!
Operator Man: Tell me very briefly what you are calling about.
Me: I applied for Medicaid online and need to send in the credentials to finish the application, I haven't had health care for two years (and I carried on explaining).
Operator Man: I am sending you to a caseworker now.
Wait! Wait? What did I wait at least 2 ½ hours for? Mr. Triage Operator Man?
Then the call transferred with a "boop." Then I got the new message:
"You are caller 128, your wait time is approximately two-and-a-half hours."
Rolling eyes HARD. If by 2.5 hours they mean DHSS special "hours" I'm sure I have no chance of talking to anyone. It was already after 2:00 in the afternoon, and I know that the offices close at 3:00. And if I hear any more horrible oboe schlock jazz it'll be too soon. They oughta just play The Ramones, Dead Kennedys, The Damned, and The Clash so we can get all our frustration out BEFORE we talk to, as they call them in all the interruption ads: "Application Technicians."
The American Healthcare "System." What an oxymoron.
What I finally did was send an email to the office with all the relevant documents. Let's hope that works and doesn't make things worse!
UPDATE: MONTHS went by and no one contacted me about my application. Finally I took a deep breath, got myself a snack and a cup of coffee and prepared for Phone Battle again. As I listened to the phone tree ("Push 1 to wait a long time, Push 2 to wait even longer, Push 3 to listen to stuff that has nothing to do with you...") I heard the voice say to push a certain button if you are scheduled for an interview. Well, heck, I should have been scheduled for an interview weeks ago, so I pushed the button. I only waited about ten minutes, and like magic, I was speaking with a very nice woman who heard my story, and immediately said, "They should have never kicked you off Medicaid. That was done illegally. During a pandemic you can't be kicked off!" Furthermore, she said, "I'm reinstating you right now back to the time you were taken off Medicaid! Did you have any treatment you needed paid during that time?" In shock, I said, "YES! I have a 4K ER bill for having food poisoning!" And she said, "We'll get that taken care of!" And just like that, I had medical help again!
It just goes to show that it REALLY makes a difference who is helping you when it comes to government agencies. Moral of the story: Don't believe the first person you talk to! Call back another day and you just might get the person who really cares!
