Inktrails from Alaska

Review: Star Trek

Star Trek

Sorry, this does not cut it.

DISCLAIMER: You'd think I'd label myself a Trekkie. I'm not. I have never been anywhere near a Trek convention. I actively avoid those Star Trek paperbacks at the used book store. I don't own a communicator pin or any Spock ears. However I'm old enough to have seen the entire progress of each show from beginning to end.

I could not buy Zachary Quinto as Spock, no way, no how. It looked like Quinto was trying really hard not to move his face. That's not acting. He wasn't Spock. I could see him pretending to be Spock. And speaking of acting...the acting was very uneven, even forced. I felt sorry for the guy who had to play Dr. McCoy. I think he gave it his best college try, but using Bones' syntax and inflections (and I thought he did a good job of that) doesn't make up for poor writing and directing.

The plot was one big cheat. A separate timeline due to a screw-up in the space-time continuum? It's the old "and then I woke up" thing. Cheap.

I loved Simon Pegg as Scotty, mainly because he acted like himself, instead of trying to re-create Officer Scott. And at least he had a better Scottish accent than our late, lamented Engineer.

The sets would have been fab if they were trying to make a Star Trek movie set in the far future. But this was supposed to be back when Jim Kirk was a youngster. The fancy bridge on the Enterprise was far more advanced-looking than the bridge on the Next Generation series. Which makes no sense. Not that I expected the funky sets from the original series, but it made me wonder if the set designers had ever really seen Star Trek before.

I didn't care for the Romulan pirates, either. They didn't look like Romulans. They looked very cool and dangerous, yes. But their ship, and their makeup and costuming looked like nothing we'd ever seen in any Star Trek movie. You would think they wouldn't try to change the physical look of an entire race! It reminded me of how Klingons used to look like bad guy movie Russians in the first show, and then suddenly they had major physical changes in TNG. I remember someone asking Worf about it, and he replied, "We do not talk about it."

It feels to me that there were too many people working on this project who either didn't get a clear idea of what the vision was, or that the vision was seriously out of touch with what Star Trek is all about. "Let's make a bunch of money!" I can hear the producers now. The real Star Trek isn't about action, it's about people, like all good stories. Sure, there were sops to Spock struggling with his Vulcan traditions, there was a bit about Kirk being too impetuous, but not much, really. This Star Trek movie was all about blowing things up, when you get right down to it. You might as well go watch "Transformers" if you want that.

And let's talk about Spock and Uhura making out. Please. Make. It. Stop. I was startled at how nauseated it made me. It was just so wrong. And not only were they sucking face, they were sucking face in front of the whole crew. It just didn't fit.

Best part of the movie? Seeing Leonard Nimoy.

Stardust

Go see it! It's been decades since we had such a great movie! It's in the same genera as Princess Bride, though quite different from it. The scenery is wonderful, dialogue and music, acting, the whole thing is a 10 all the way around. I will buy it as soon as it comes out in DVD.

I would not say it is a children's flick, and wouldn't recommend under 12, depending on the maturity of the 12-yr-old.

Just WAIT until you see Robert DiNero!

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit

If you haven't ever seen Wallace & Gromit, the world's best claymation, you have been missing a real treat. Go see it.

Nick Park has won numerous awards for nearly every effort he's made, including three Oscars. He and his helpers at Ardman take years to make their movies, as they use actual clay in the animation, painstakingly creating all the details by hand, and moving all the characters by hand. The details are precious and often add joke upon joke. Wallace's Rube Goldberg machinery is hysterical, but the headlines on the newspapers that Gromit (the dog and smarter of the duo) reads always make me laugh. Just the way the characters are made is funny! Love the teeth, Nick!

Curse of the Were-Rabbit is appropriate for both adults and children and I doubt any family would be disappointed. I certainly hope folks will go home and rent the DVD of the Wallace & Gromit shorts. Park and Ardman were responsible for Chicken Run, too. All of these films are worth owning, as there are so many fun things to find in the background that you can see them many times and still enjoy their charm.

On a personal note, I have to say that all these rabbits make me nervous. If only Anti-Pesto (Wallace & Gromit's pest control service) could come and get our rabbits, we would be much happier! The scenes of the burgeoning rabbit population at Tottingham Manor was eerily familiar.... However I have a chin, unlike the blueblood in the movie!

Batman Begins

The conditions were not ideal, as the speakers and screen at the Blue Loon leave quite a bit to be desired. For a movie that is quite a lot of fun to make fun of (I could barely contain myself during the movie) the Ester crowd was deadly quiet. Then again, it could be, like me, they were straining to hear the dialogue over the incessant soundtrack. Not to mention that Christian Bale barely opens his mouth for the first quarter of the movie. His mumbling isn't mysterious, it's impossible to understand.

The movie mixes 30s genre sets with 21st century cars and fashions. Mostly. It's incredibly inconsistent. The fight scenes are the usual way-too-fast-to-tell-what-the-hell-is-going-on that makes your head hurt and your eyes water. Liam Neeson as a French/Oriental? villain is interesting. Audiences in Alaska will find the scenes near glaciers rather amusing.

I dearly love Michael Caine, but he should have put on a more Alfredesque accent for the part.

It was fun, it was a comic book. It certainly didn't live up to the original comic book, despite all the DC COMICS labeling.

Movie List

This is the sister list to the book list. I'll add more to it as I have time. I'm putting in both good, bad and so-so movies.

Dead Again Starring Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson. This is one of the best screenplays I've ever heard/seen.

Much Ado About Nothing Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Michael Keaton, and other greats. The best movie of a Shakespeare play I've ever seen. Absolutely delightful.

Life is Beautiful Roberto Benigni. One of the only movies about the Holocaust that I can stand to watch. You would not think a movie about this subject could be funny and charming, but it is. The heartbreak is there, too, but there is enough hope, something nearly all movies lack when dealing with this subject.

Saving Private Ryan Tom Hanks, others. I saw it, made myself watch it, and I never want to see it again. It's a good movie, I suppose, but I wouldn't put myself through it again.

Blazing Saddles Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, a host of character actors, including Mel Brooks as an Indian speaking Yiddish. One of the funniest movies of all time. The only movie that made me literally fall out of my chair laughing. (And I stuck to the floor of the movie theater, yeecchhhh!)

The Great Dictator Charlie Chaplin, Paulette Goddard. Made in 1940, this is a late but absolutely priceless effort by Chaplin. It has full sound. Chaplin later said that if he had known what horrors were being perpetrated by the Nazis, he would not have made this film. Thank God he did. This film is genius, if you haven't seen it, rent it today and I dare you not to be moved. You might have a double feature with Life is Beautiful. One wonders if Roberto Benigni studied this movie before his made his.

Artificial Intelligence Haley Joel Osment, William Hurt, Jude Law, others. By Steven Spielberg. I swear there was a black and white movie called "David," or perhaps it was a book that built a black-and-white movie in my head as I read it, that this movie is an extension and remake of. Regardless of that, this is an incredible journey that touches on the nature of love, intelligence, soul, hope, the nature of of our essence. Beautifully done. It's very long and worth every minute. Probably the best performance Haley Joel Osment has ever given.